Fine Dreams
by Vol lady
Summary: Follows Truth, Fibs and the Family Tree. It's 1893, and Victoria is thinking about the future of her grandchildren as her health begins to fail. When she has a stroke, the family sends for Dr. Eugene Barkley, who suggests an age-old treatment, but one that is still scary for his siblings.
1. Chapter 1

Fine Dreams

Chapter 1

Spring, 1893

It was tough getting up in the morning now. Muscles and joints ached, and pain even shot through like fire, just because she was trying to get out of bed. Victoria sighed again, just like every other morning, when she succeeded in sitting up. She sighed and remembered better days.

Someone knocked on the door. "Come in."

"Good morning, Grandmother!" Victoria Marie said cheerfully.

Victoria smiled, her heart lifted at the sight of her granddaughter coming to her and hugging her. Victoria Marie was 12 years old now, growing up, and so beautiful a girl it was stunning. Victoria had forgotten that the Wheelers had stayed over after the party. "Good morning, darling," Victoria said and kissed her granddaughter. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I did. Did you?" Victoria Marie asked.

"I did indeed," Victoria said. "Is everybody else awake already?"

"Yes, but we haven't had breakfast yet. I've been helping Silas fix it."

"You have? I'll bet he appreciates that."

Audra was at the door now, and she came in after her daughter. "Vicki, I was wondering where you got to. Did you wake your grandmother up?"

"No, she didn't," Victoria said. "I was just getting myself up."

"Why don't you run back downstairs and see if can do anything more for Silas?" Audra said to Victoria Marie.

"All right!" she said and went back out the door.

Victoria climbed slowly to her feet, reaching for the cane she now used for support. Audra still came to her side and took hold of her arm. "Do you need any help getting ready for the day?" Audra asked.

"Not really," Victoria said, "but I'd like to wear pantaloons today. I'm thinking you and I might go riding. Would you lay them out for me?"

"Oh, I'd love going riding," Audra said. "Shall I ask Vicki to come along?"

"Actually, I thought you and I might have a talk while we ride, so I'd rather you find something for her to do around here. If she asks, just tell her we need some mother-daughter time. She'll understand."

"She probably will," Audra said as she fetched her mother's riding pants and shirt from out of the chifferobe. "She's such an easy child, it's amazing."

Victoria went to the basin on the dresser and washed her face. "You know, I think I won't make up my face today. It doesn't feel so good against my skin anymore, and once you get a face full of dust, well, what's the point? Will you help me get my hair up?"

"Certainly," Audra said. "Get dressed and then we'll take care of it."

Victoria made her way back to the bed, removed her nightgown and sat down on the bed to pull her slacks on. "You know, I think I really need to get a maid in here to help me in the morning. Things go so much more smoothly when I have help."

Audra cleaned up some spilled water at the dresser and said, "I can ask in town for some recommendations."

Victoria pulled her blouse on and began to button it. "Thank you. I'd appreciate that."

It wasn't very long before Victoria was ready for the day, having finished everything she needed to do. Audra walked beside her as they went downstairs. Victoria did very well holding onto the bannister, but her days of tripping lightly down the big staircase were over. She and Audra went straight to the dining room, where Audra's husband Carl and their two daughters, and Nick and his wife and son, and Maggie and her son J.J. were already gathered.

"My goodness, this is getting to be a crowded table," Victoria said as she took her place at the end opposite Nick.

The men and boys had stood up when she entered, and Carl held her chair for her as she sat down. "Just be glad we got the longer table," Nick said.

The male Barkleys sat down again after Victoria and Audra were seated. Victoria led the blessing, as usual, and then everyone began to dig in.

Victoria said to Vicki, "Vicki, darling, your mother and I are going riding together this morning and we'd like it if you and Amanda could stay here and help Silas get ready for lunch."

Their houseman was getting on in years and needed the help – particularly the good eyesight. Vicki said, "Of course, Grandmother," even though secretly she wished she were going along.

"Going anywhere in particular, Mother?" Nick asked.

"Oh, to visit your father's grave, I suppose, but mainly we just need some time to talk," Victoria said.

"Not leaving the property?"

"No, dear, we'll stay on property," Victoria said.

"I suspect the ladies will be talking about us," Carl said.

"Now, whatever gave you that idea?" Audra asked with a grin.

"You always talk about us when we're not around, don't you?" Nick said.

"No, not always," Victoria said, "but in this case, we might." Then she looked up and saw how far away the other end of the long table really was. "My goodness, Jarrod, you're halfway to your office in town."

Everyone stopped for a moment. Victoria was beginning to mix things up a little bit these days. Nothing new, but it still stung to know such a healthy, vital woman was beginning to slip.

"I'm Nick, Mother," Nick said.

"Oh," Victoria said, and then she covered for herself. "Well, you're so far away I couldn't tell."

Everyone chuckled and left it at that. The rest of breakfast was filled with eating and small talk. After they were finished eating, Nick was off to the herd. J.J. was nearly 13 now and Nick was taking him along, much to his son Tony's dislike. "Next year," Nick told him.

"It's boring, anyway," J.J. told Tony secretly.

Nick took his sister aside secretly and whispered, "Look out for the both of you, all right? You know Mother isn't as tough as she used to be."

"Why don't we go out to the herd when we're winding down, and bring J.J. back in with us?" Audra asked.

"Good idea, but we'll see if J.J. wants to come back in when you're out there," Nick said. "Sometimes he wants to spend all day – sometimes there's more of Jarrod in him and he wants to come back in and read a book."

Audra remembered her mother's mistake at the table. "Sometimes I wonder if Mother even remembers Jarrod is gone. Lately, she's even mentioned Father once or twice as if he were still alive."

"I know," Nick said, "and that's why I want you to keep an extra close eye on her. The past slips in on her when she least expects it to these days."

"Don't worry," Audra said. "I'll take good care of her."

Nick kissed his sister on the forehead. "Have a nice ride."

XXXXXXXXXX

On horseback, Victoria almost seemed to be as young as she ever was. She had no trouble controlling her horse, even at a gallop, nor did she have any trouble seeing where she was going. It looked a little funny, having her cane hanging from the saddle, but it was good to have it handy as she and Audra dismounted at the graves of her husband, her son and Jarrod's first wife Beth. Audra tethered the horses as Victoria went to the graves and looked down.

Audra joined her, and saw the tears on her mother's face. She took Victoria by the arm. "You know," Victoria said, "when I think about how long they've all been gone, especially your father, I wonder where the time went. It seems like it all happened a hundred years ago and yet, it seems like they were here yesterday."

"I know," Audra said.

"It wasn't just this slip I had about Jarrod at the breakfast table," Victoria said. "There have been mornings I've awakened and reached over for your father, thinking he was still there."

Audra didn't know what to say.

Victoria sighed. "Audra," she said, very carefully, "I know I've been slipping more often, and with my birthday rolling around again yesterday, I've been thinking more about my future."

Audra rubbed her mother's arm, but didn't say anything.

"Help me down a bit," Victoria said.

Audra helped her mother kneel before Tom Barkley's headstone. Victoria kissed her fingers and touched her husband's name.

"Twenty-three years now, Audra," Victoria said. "How could so much time have gone by?"

Audra fumbled for words, but finally said, "It's just life, Mother. Time goes by because life still goes on. And we've had wonderful lives, too. Father would be very happy."

Victoria smiled. "Yes, he would. And I think he'd be proud at how well we've carried on, how well Nick has kept the ranch going. If I have any regrets, it's actually that he never got to meet Heath. He'd have been so proud of him."

"And of us," Audra said. "He'd be proud we've made such a good family, including Heath."

"Yes, he would. Rest easy, my darling," Victoria said to her husband then. Then she looked over at her son Jarrod's stone. "You look after your father and Beth, Jarrod."

"He will," Audra said.

Audra helped as Victoria started to get back up. Victoria sighed once the effort had her on her feet, and before they went back to their horses, she said, "There's someplace else I'd like to go – that spot near the creek where your father and I planned out our life together."

Audra smiled. She knew the spot well. She helped her mother back to her horse and got her up in the saddle, then she mounted her own horse. They galloped off together as if they were two girls on holiday.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It took a good half hour to get to the spot Victoria wanted to reach, but as soon as they were there, she smiled happily at the memories that were there with them. They dismounted near a fallen tree near the creek. Audra steadied her mother and got her to the log before she tethered the horses on a nearby tree. Then she sat down on the log beside Victoria.

Victoria looked around, smiling. "This is the spot your father and I came to and decided this was the property we wanted. We thought about building our home here, but then we decided to build where the house is now and keep this place for picnicking and enjoying the fresh air. Oh, what fine dreams we had, and it was so wonderful to see them come true."

Audra smiled. "I remember you bringing us all here before Jarrod went away to the war, and again before Nick went away."

"We didn't know if either one of them would be coming back," Victoria said. "I'm surprised you remember those times. You were so young."

"I think I remember them because Jarrod and Nick went away afterward." Audra sighed and looked around. "I have a secret to tell you. I've brought more than one boyfriend here, even Carl."

Victoria laughed. "That's no secret, Audra." Then she sighed and said, "I need to talk to you about a few matters."

"All right," Audra said.

"I want to talk to you about my will."

Audra said, "Well, you changed it a few years ago, after the grandchildren came along. You knew that Nick and Heath and Eugene and Maggie and I were all financially fine, so you left everything in trusts for each of the grandchildren, for their education or for them when they turn 21. Did you want to change that?"

"Oh," Victoria said, looking confused. "No, I don't. I suppose I forgot I'd done that. I thought – oh, well, it doesn't matter what I thought. The will is the way I want it, if it's in trusts for the grandchildren, so they can have help making their own dreams come true."

Audra smiled. "That's what it is. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes," Victoria said and reached for Audra's hand. "Audra – my darling – I am still lucid enough to know that sometimes I am not lucid. I need to prepare for when the day arrives that I lose so much of myself that I don't know I'm not being lucid."

"Mother, that day may never come – "

"But it may. We never know how long we're going to live, do we? I may get sick next week, or I may live to be 90. We just don't know."

Audra squeezed her mother's hands, nodding. "All right. How do you want to prepare for that?"

"I'm not sure, but I know I don't want any of my children to be saddled with taking care of me, and that means someone will have to be hired to do that. I think I should take some of my money that might otherwise go into my estate and put it into a trust for myself, for when the day comes you need help paying for my care."

Audra smiled, but she hated this. She hated facing the truth that her mother was already planning for – the day the strong, sensible, energetic Victoria Barkley disappears forever. "All right, Mother. Why don't we see Mark Bromley about it? He should know how to deal with that."

Victoria looked vacant. "Mark Bromley?" she asked, shaking her head.

"Our lawyer," Audra said.

"Oh, yes, of course," Victoria said, remembering now.

This was getting almost too painful for Audra. For a moment she thought Victoria was going to ask why Jarrod wasn't doing the family legal work anymore, but at least it didn't come to that. "We'll go see him tomorrow if you like," Audra said.

"I would like that, yes," Victoria said. "And there's something else I would like to talk to him about."

"What's that?"

"Putting some of my money into trusts for the grandchildren right now, so the funds are there if they want to continue their education. I don't know if they all will, but I want to be able to help if they want to."

"That's a lovely idea, Mother," Audra said. "We'll talk to Mark about that, too."

Then Victoria took a deep breath of fresh air, looking around, smiling at her memories. "This really is a lovely spot. Maybe one of the grandchildren will want to build near here someday."

"Maybe," Audra said.

"They're growing up so fast. How old are your girls now?"

"Twelve and six. Vicki will be thirteen soon."

"My word, she could be getting married in – " Victoria's eyes grew wide. "As soon as three years!"

Audra laughed. "Not if her father has anything to say about it. Carl says he won't let a boy near either one of them until they're over twenty."

It was Victoria's turn to laugh. "That's how old I was when I had Jarrod. Carl may want to revise his timetable."

XXXXXXX

They rode on to where Nick and Heath were working the herd and J.J. was learning how to. They stopped on the ridge overlooking the herd and smiled as they watched Nick and Heath guide the boy through the job of herding a stray back to the main herd.

"J.J. is really quite good on a horse, isn't he?" Audra asked.

"He's been riding since he was five years old," Victoria said. "Just like his father, he'd be on any horse with a saddle on it, if someone left it unattended for a minute."

Audra laughed. "I'll bet you and father had your hands full with all of us, didn't you?"

"Oh, we sure did," Victoria laughed. "Every one of you was attracted to the horse early on. We could hardly keep you corralled, almost from the time you could walk."

Nick, Heath and J.J. came riding up to them then. They were all covered with dirt and smelled good and ripe. "Hello, Grandmother!" J.J. called.

"Hello, J.J.," Victoria said. "We watched you round up that stray."

"Yeah, we'll be putting him to work for honest before long," Heath said.

"The sooner, the better for me," J.J. said.

"It won't be long," Nick said, "but for now, you pace yourself. Your mother would have our hides if you got hurt out here."

"Whatever you say, Uncle Nick," J.J. said.

"Are you ready to see us home?" Audra asked.

J.J. nodded. "If it's okay with my uncles."

"Go on," Nick said. "Don't use up all the hot water for the bathtub."

J.J. grinned, and then he went about herding his grandmother and aunt together and let them lead the way home.

Audra couldn't help thinking what a fine boy J.J. was turning into. He was taking his job as the women's escort very seriously, riding toward the rear and keeping an eye out for whatever might create a problem.

But maybe "boy" wasn't quite the right word anymore. It wouldn't be long that he'd be more man than boy. He had already had a good growth spurt and was nearly as tall as Audra was. His voice was already beginning to drop. Audra wondered how long it would be before fuzz began to show up on his face.

He was loving and caring, and his battles with his cousins were easing off as he gained more interest in being with his uncles or reading some of his father's books, or even helping his mother and grandmother carrying heavy items around the house. Jarrod would be so proud of him, Audra thought. She knew Maggie was.

"J.J.," Victoria asked, "have you given any thought as to what you want to do when you're grown?"

"Do?" J.J. asked. "You mean, be a lawyer or a rancher?"

"Or anything else?" Victoria asked. "The world is changing, you know. There are other occupations coming along that you might be interested in. Your Uncle Eugene is a surgeon. You might want to be some other kind of doctor, some new kind."

"Oh, I don't think I want to be a doctor," J.J. said. "And I'm not sure about being a lawyer, either. I've been thinking about being an engineer."

"An engineer?" Victoria asked. "What kind?"

"I've been reading about the horseless carriages some men are making," J.J. said. "I've been kind of thinking about what it would be like to build them. They're going to be the way people get around soon. Or maybe I might even design the roads and the bridges they ride on. I don't know yet." Then J.J. was quiet for a moment before he said, "You don't think Uncle Nick and Uncle Heath will be mad at me if I don't want to be a rancher."

"No, not at all," Victoria said. "They'll want you to be whatever you want to be, but right now they're happy when you come out into the field with them."

"I like it, too," J.J. said.

And suddenly, without warning, before J.J. even finished his sentence, Victoria slipped from the saddle and landed hard on the ground.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Mother!" Audra cried, and she and J.J. leapt from their horses.

J.J. took hold of the leads of all the horses so they would not panic and run away. Victoria was trying to sit up when Audra reached her.

"Mother, are you all right?" Audra asked urgently.

Victoria struggled to sit up. She couldn't seem to use her left arm. "I think so," she said anyway.

Audra didn't think so. "J.J.," she said to her nephew, "go get Nick and Heath and tell them what's happened. Bring them here."

J.J. nodded, handing the leads of Audra's horse and Victoria's over to his aunt, then mounting up his own horse and riding fast back the way they had come.

Audra helped her mother sit up. Victoria still seemed to be dizzy, and her left arm was just hanging there. "I don't know what happened," Victoria said.

"You fell from your horse," Audra said.

"But why? I was fine, and then suddenly I was on the ground."

At least Victoria was speaking clearly. Audra took comfort in that, but it worried her that she didn't seem to have any strength on her left side.

Victoria tried to stand up, and Audra helped her, but it didn't work. Victoria couldn't steady herself, and her left side crumpled. Audra eased her back onto the ground.

"I've sent J.J. for Nick and Heath," Audra said. "They'll be here in a few minutes. We'll just wait here and rest until they get here."

Victoria finally looked Audra in the eye and held onto her with her right arm. "This is the strangest feeling," she said. "Part of me just seems numb."

"Maybe you landed wrong when you fell," Audra said, knowing full well that landing wrong was not the reason for Victoria's partial paralysis.

No one knew, but Audra had talked a lot with Stockton's newest doctor, Dr. Shane, about things that could be expected as Victoria grew older. Small strokes were first on his list, and he described how they might present themselves. Partial paralysis was right there in his description.

Her mother was into her seventies now. It tore Audra to her heart that the things Dr. Shane had described were beginning to happen, but it couldn't be denied. It could only be dealt with.

J.J. was back with Nick and Heath within minutes. They all dismounted, and the men ran to their mother's side. "What happened?" Nick asked.

"She fell," Audra said.

"I'm not hurt," Victoria said. "My left arm and leg have gone numb, but I don't think I'm hurt."

"We should send for the doctor, just to be sure," Audra said.

"I'll go for him," Heath said. "J.J., would you ride to the house and bring back a buggy or a wagon?"

"I can ride," Victoria said.

"No, you can't," Audra insisted. "We're going to take things easy until we have you checked out."

Victoria gave a small grin to her daughter. "It looks like the torch has been passed," she said. "You're becoming the boss now, are you?"

"Yes," Audra said. "So get used to it."

Victoria laughed.

XXXXXXXX

Almost two hours later, Dr. Shane came down from Victoria's room. Audra was up with her mother, but the rest of the household – grandchildren included – were gathered in the living room, waiting.

"She's resting comfortably," Dr. Shane said quickly. "I haven't given her anything, because she's not in pain."

"Did she have a stroke, Doc?" Heath asked.

Dr. Shane nodded. "Looks like it, but it looks like a small one. She's already regaining some feeling on her left side. That's a good sign."

"How do we keep this from happening again?" Nick asked.

"There is a surgical procedure that seems to help," Dr. Shane said. He ran his finger down the side of his neck. "We open up the carotid artery and clean it out. I can't perform it – a surgeon would have to do it. It does seem to help, but otherwise we just deal with the symptoms."

"Our brother's a surgeon," Nick said.

"So I've heard, but he's back east, isn't he?"

Nick nodded. "I think we could get him out here if you think it's a good idea."

"I'll go on into town and wire him," Heath said. "Then I think I better get home and let Suzanne know what's happening."

"When will Mother be up and around?" Nick asked.

"Using her cane, I think she can try getting around as soon as she wants, but I'd keep her off horseback. As soon as your brother gets here, he and I can talk about her treatment from here on."

Dr. Shane headed to the door with Nick and Heath. "Thanks for your help, Doc," Nick said.

"Try not to worry," Dr. Shane said. "What's happening is alarming, but once she gets treatment, she should do well for quite a while."

Dr. Shane and Heath left together, and Nick came back into the living room. J.J. was pouring a glass of sherry for his mother; Tony was sitting on the hearth, just listening to what was going on. Nancy was sitting beside Maggie on the settee.

J.J brought the sherry to his mother, asking his Aunt Nancy if she wanted anything. Nancy declined. She was concentrating on her husband, because Nick was still looking pretty worried. She exchanged looks with him before she stood up and took him by the arm.

"Nick, why don't I go into the kitchen and see to dinner? Come with me in case Silas needs some help digging up some potatoes from the garden."

Nick nodded. He didn't talk about his mother as he went with Nancy into the kitchen. He didn't need to. Nancy knew what he was thinking about. When they got to the kitchen, they found Silas already peeling potatoes – but he had tears in his eyes.

Nancy let go of Nick and touched Silas's shoulder. "Oh, Miss Nancy, I am sorry," Silas said. "I just worry so about Mrs. Barkley."

"We worry, too," Nick said, "but the doctor thinks there's a treatment that can help her and we're sending for Eugene in Baltimore. It won't take him long to get here."

"Good," Silas said and rubbed his eye with the back of his hand.

"Can we help you at all?" Nancy asked.

"No, thank you, ma'am," Silas said. "I have everything doing good. I'm making some broth for Mrs. Barkley and will keep it warm for when she wants it."

Out through the window, Nick and Nancy saw J.J. and Maggie already on the back porch swing. Nick smiled, remembering how Jarrod used to be there with Maggie, thinking how much J.J. looked like his father and even acted like him. Nick and Nancy went outside and saw Tony out in the garden. When he saw his parents coming, he said, "I'm picking some flowers for Grandmother."

"Good idea," Nick said. "She'll like them."

"I hope she feels better pretty quick," Tony said.

Nick and Nancy could tell the boy was worried. This was the first time something critical with someone he loved had happened. Everyone else in the family had managed to dodge anything serious in the years eleven-year-old Tony had been aware of what was going on. Nick let go of his wife and put his arm around his son. "Come here, kid," he said and guided the boy to the bench.

The bench only held two people, so Tony let his parents sit down and he got down on his heels in front of them, fingering the flowers he had picked.

"Things happen to us when we get older," Nick explained. "We don't feel so good. Our bodies take a lot of punishment over the years, and things add up."

"Is Grandmother going to die?" Tony asked.

"I don't think so," Nick said quickly. "She just has some of the problems we get as we get older."

"But someday she will die," Tony said, his voice beginning to show the strain of his thinking. "Someday you will, too. And me."

"That the way of life, son," Nick said. "We're not meant to live forever. Being in this world is kind of like – well, it's kind of like riding on one of those fun rides we got on together at the State Fair in Sacramento, remember? We waited to get on and then we rode around and we laughed and had a good time, but then we had to get off and let other people get on. This world is kind of the same way. Comes a time, we have to get off, let other people get on."

Tony thought hard about that. He understood that when you die you go to heaven, and it made sense that he would someday have to die – get off the ride – and let other people come here to live. But in his heart, he trembled. He didn't know how to explain that.

Nick read it in his eyes. "It's natural to be nervous about leaving here and going to heaven. It's the way we're made."

"Why?" Tony asked.

"I don't know," Nick said. "It just is. God made us that way, maybe so we'd be careful while we're here. I don't know. God does. He knows what He's doing, even if we don't always understand it. But it's His world, and we can trust Him."

"Tony," Nancy said quietly. "Grandmother is going to be all right for now. She might need our help now and then to get around or to do things, but she's all right for right now, and so are the rest of us. We'll be all right for a long time."

Tony nodded, still not understanding completely and still a bit shaken about everything, but he straightened up, then got up and said, "I'm going to take these flowers to Grandmother."

As he went off to the house, Nick put his arm around his wife. "Growing up can be scary sometimes, can't it?"

Nancy nodded. "Yes, but we all have to do it. Tony will be all right."

Nick kissed her. "I know."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Victoria came down the staircase on her own the next morning, holding onto the rail carefully with her right hand while hanging her cane from her left arm. Her left leg was weak, so it took a while for her to come down, but Nick and Nancy were smiling as she made it to the bottom. Victoria then took her cane and used it to walk to them in the foyer.

"Looking pretty good, Mother," Nick said.

"Thank you, Nick," Victoria said. "I'm doing much better after a good night's sleep. And I am very hungry."

"Maggie and the boys are already in the dining room," Nancy said.

Nick offered his left arm to his mother, and she took it with her right arm. They walked into the dining room with Nancy following behind.

J.J. and Tony jumped to their feet at the table, and even Maggie stood up. "Good morning, Grandmother," the boys said in near unison.

"Good morning, everyone," Victoria said as Nick pulled her chair out for her and then pulled out his wife's chair for her.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Maggie asked.

"Much, much better," Victoria said. She looked around and said, "I guess we're all here now. J.J., why don't you say the blessing this morning?"

J.J. bowed his head dutifully and gave the blessing he'd been hearing at this table all his life. Then they began to pass the platters of food and all began to eat.

"I'm afraid you'll have to settle for Nancy and me as company today, Victoria," Maggie said. "Audra said she had to talk to the schoolteacher today."

"No problem with the girls, I hope," Victoria said.

"I don't think so, but with school ending soon, it's time to be up to date on their progress. My sit down with the teacher is tomorrow."

"And mine as well, and Suzanne's," Nancy said. "I think all the children are in good shape, though."

The school had been closed for the past two weeks because of spring planting, but would reopen next week for the last month of class. "Time really flies, doesn't it?" Victoria said, thinking about that.

"The teacher says I need to be considering whether I want to continue my education beyond the Stockton school," J.J. said.

"And have you been thinking about it?"

"Yes, I have, but I'm not sure what I want to do. We talked a little about that yesterday – do you remember?"

"Oh," Victoria said. "I'm afraid not. I'm sorry, J.J., yesterday is a bit of a blur for me."

"I'm thinking about becoming an engineer, to design horseless carriages or maybe the roads and bridges they'll drive on."

"My goodness, whoever would have thought there would be such a career?" Victoria said. "Even when you were born, J.J., there were no careers like that."

"From what I've read about them, things are moving fast now, Mother," Nick said. "I expect we'll have a horseless carriage of our own before too long. Maybe you can work on the new road into the house, J.J."

J.J. smiled.

"What about you, Tony?" Victoria asked. "Do you know what you want to become?"

"A rancher, like my father," Tony said very definitely.

"That's what he wants this week," Nick said. "Next week, who knows? But, Mother, I wanted to mention something to you. We wired Eugene yesterday about your little episode. Got an answer from him yesterday evening, and he ought to be here on the train in about four days."

"Oh!" Victoria said. "Well, I suppose I ought to have episodes more often if it gets him here for a visit."

Her son and daughters-in-law chuckled a bit at that, but no one wanted to approach the subject of surgery at the breakfast table, or in front of the boys. That was something for Eugene to talk to Victoria about in private.

XXXXXXXXX

The train rolled in from the east late in the afternoon, and Heath was there to meet it. He looked carefully for Eugene in the crowd, but it still took a bit for Heath to find him. It had been so long since he'd seen his little brother, that he was surprised to see the somewhat stout man in the Eastern style suit and tie smile his way. Eugene had put on weight and age, and everything that said "rancher's son" about him was gone. Now he was truly an Eastern doctor, medical bag and all.

"Heath!" he said and hugged his older brother, who had barely changed over the several years they'd been apart.

"Good to see you, Eugene," Heath said. "Let me look at you. Got a few more pounds there, boy."

"A few," Eugene agreed. "I don't get the chance to work them off the way you do."

"You got bags?"

Eugene nodded toward the baggage car. "Let's go get them."

The Barkley men headed for the baggage car. Heath said, "Left Mary Margaret and the kids home, huh?"

"They wanted to come, but it's the end of the year at school. Not a good time to take a trip."

"They're well, I hope."

"They are. And Suzanne and Heath and Nicky?"

"Fine, fine. Heath is still a bit rambunctious, but having Nicky following him around is tempering him a bit."

"And how's everybody else?"

"Good, except for Mother, of course."

They reached the baggage car, grabbed Eugene's two bags, and Heath led the way to the buggy out in the street. Eugene gave a long, hard look at his hometown before he boarded the buggy.

"The sleepy little place has really grown up," Eugene said and got in beside Heath.

Heath backed the horses up and then drove them down the road. "Yeah, we have. Got ten saloons now."

Eugene laughed.

"But ten doctors, too," Heath said.

"Ten?"

"Yeah, one just to set all the broken bones. Ranching is still a big business around here."

They passed the building where their brother Jarrod's office used to be. There was now another lawyer in there, a name Eugene didn't recognize. "Mark Bromley's not here anymore?"

"Yeah, he's here, closer to the courthouse," Heath laughed. "This one is new. I don't know him too well."

"I still think about Jarrod a lot," Eugene said. "Wish he could see how well I turned out." Eugene had not seen his oldest brother again after that last Christmas together, more than ten years ago now.

Heath smiled. "It wouldn't have surprised him. He always knew you'd turn out to be a real respected doctor, once you figured out that was what you wanted to be."

Eugene smiled, but then grew sober. "So, tell me what's going on with Mother."

Heath chose his words carefully, to be as accurate as he could. "Past few months, she's gotten some holes in her memory. Started with just messing up the grandkids' names, and we didn't think much of that. Heck, I can't keep them straight sometimes."

Eugene chuckled.

"Then she started to forget things, like Jarrod being gone, even like Father being gone. Then, last week, she fell off her horse – just fell right out of the saddle – and had some paralysis on her left side. She's improved on that, but our local doc – man named Shane, pretty good doc – he said she'd had a bit of a stroke. He suggested this operation where you cut open the carotid and clean it out."

Eugene nodded. "Sounds awful, but it's a pretty old procedure, pretty routine now."

"Have you ever done it?"

"Yeah, many times. But I want to have a good look at her and make sure that is what's going on. All kinds of things can cause memory loss and even what looks like strokes. We don't need to go jumping into anything fast, from the sounds of it."

"It's kind of tough, watching her go through this. Strong, intelligent woman just fading away like that."

"It's the way of the world, Heath. You know that."

"Yeah, I know. I don't like it much though."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Eugene!"

Eugene looked bug-eyed at his siblings and in-laws when his mother flew into his arms. Was this the woman who was having trouble remembering things, moving around gingerly with the aid of a cane?

"Hello, Mother," Eugene said and kissed her, and then there were hugs and kisses all around. When they were through, Eugene noticed that someone had handed Victoria her cane.

Victoria deftly took Eugene in one arm and moved into the living room with her cane in the other hand. Eugene couldn't see any evidence of even a partial paralysis, until they sat down together on the settee and Victoria had trouble resting her cane against the settee at her side. He could see when she let go of it that her left hand was a little limp.

"Boy, you've put on weight!" Nick bellowed.

Eugene gave him a look. "Got a few more pounds yourself, Nick."

Nick frowned at his own midsection. "A mere pound."

"Or ten," Eugene said.

"Could you use a drink, Eugene?" Heath asked.

"Scotch, if you have it," Eugene said.

Heath brought him a glass.

All of the Barkley children and spouses and grandchildren were there, but all, except Carl Wheeler who knew Eugene since childhood, were somewhat reserved. The grandchildren looked downright uncomfortable, but they simply did not remember their Uncle Eugene at all. Even J.J. was only six the last time Eugene came to visit. Now it was nearly seven years later. Looking at the children made Eugene feel downright guilty for letting his visits become so few and far between.

They talked and socialized and then had dinner and some socializing after that before Heath's family and Audra's began to gather up to leave. Audra was concerned that she hadn't had much time to talk to Eugene about their mother, so she snared him for a moment as Carl was herding their daughters out the door. "I'll be over tomorrow to talk to you some more about Mother," Audra said.

Eugene nodded. "Good. We need to talk privately - you, me, Nick and Heath – before I talk to Mother."

Audra's concern was eased when Eugene said that. She threw her arms around her little brother. "I hate the reason, but I sure am happy to see you home again."

"Me, too," Eugene said.

After Audra's and Heath's family left, Nick scurried J.J. and Tony upstairs to bed, and he, Maggie, Nancy and Victoria sat back down in the living room with Eugene. Eugene sat in Jarrod's old thinking chair by the hearth, while Victoria took the other chair and Maggie and Nancy took the settee. Nick stood by the fireplace.

And they all wondered what to say next, because the reason for Eugene being here was hanging over them like a cloud. Victoria knew Eugene was here to see about her "episodes," and even if she was not totally lucid all the time, she was not clueless. So, she broke the tension and said, "So, you're here to check me over and see how bad my situation is, aren't you, Eugene?"

Eugene smiled. "Yes. Everybody was worried about you when you fell from the horse, and I can see you do have some paralysis."

"It's much better than it was," Victoria said.

"That's not unusual for a minor stroke, which is what it sounds like you had," Eugene said. He really didn't want to get into this with his Mother present – he wanted to do as he told Audra, talk to his siblings without their Mother hearing everything he had to say. But then, he should have known that approach wasn't going to work with Victoria Barkley, so he went on. "But the thing we need to be concerned about is you having more of these episodes. There is something we can do to improve the odds for you to have more time with fewer problems."

"And what is that something?" Victoria asked.

"There's a procedure. It's been around for a long time. I'd like to give you a full examination tomorrow to see if it would be a good idea for you. What we do is open up the carotid artery – "

"What?!" Nick blurted out. "How do you do that and not – "

"Nick," Victoria cut him off, raising her left hand even if it was a bit limp. "Go on, Eugene."

"We open up the artery and clean it out. It's been very helpful in cases like yours."

"How do I avoid bleeding to death when you open the artery?" Victoria asked.

"We clamp it off during the procedure," Eugene said. "And for that reason we do one side at a time. We do one – probably the right first – let it heal some, and then we do the other. It's very common and very successful, Mother. Been around for a long time."

Victoria swallowed and stiffened her back. "Would you do it?"

"Yes, right here at home. I'd have Dr. – what's his name, Shane? I'd ask him to assist, or if he's done more of these than I have, we might even consider having him do the procedure."

Victoria nodded. "This sounds like a sensible thing to do to me, especially if it means I can have more time with my family, more time not falling off my horse."

Nick still looked doubtful, and Eugene could see it. "It's a safe, effective procedure, Nick. I've done almost twenty of them. It does leave scars, but usually the wrinkling of the skin covers them up."

"I never thought I'd find a good use for my wrinkles," Victoria said.

Maggie and Nancy chuckled.

Nick rubbed his forehead. "How dangerous is this procedure, Eugene?"

"It carries risks," Eugene said, "but it's safer than that appendectomy Audra had a few years back, and it's safer than some of the bullet removals you and Heath have had. The main risk is infection, but we can prepare for that."

"I'm convinced, Nick," Victoria said. "Eugene, let's do it as soon as possible."

"All right," Eugene said. "I'll examine you and then go talk to Dr. Shane in the morning, and we'll tell Audra and Heath what you've decided, Mother. I promise, I'll take very good care of you."

"Oh, I know you will," Victoria said, and as she looked around she realized she might be more comfortable with this surgery than any of her family except for Eugene. "It's decided. We'll do it as soon as possible."

Victoria smiled and asked Nick to get her another sherry. Nick did, and Victoria gave him a bigger, more secure smile when he handed her the wine. Nick felt better, and smiled back.

XXXXX

Audra came by the next morning, hoping to talk with Eugene, but he had already gone to town to talk to Dr. Shane. While her daughters played in the garden, she sat with her mother in the living room, asking directly, "What did Eugene say last night? Why has he gone to see Dr. Shane?"

Victoria held her daughter's hand. "He told me about a procedure he's performed on other patients, to clean out the carotid arteries. It seems to help to prevent the kinds of episodes I've been having. He went to see Dr. Shane to talk to him about it."

"What did you think about the procedure he told you about?" Audra asked.

"I thought it was a good idea. He could do it right here at home, hopefully Dr. Shane will assist him and get some experience of his own with the procedure." Then Victoria noticed Audra seemed a little unsure. "What do you think?"

"Well, I don't like the idea of you having an operation."

"Eugene says it's a safer operation than when you had your appendix out."

"Really?"

"Really. And Audra, I don't want to go through the rest of my life falling off my horse."

"I can understand that. What did Nick and Heath think?"

"I don't think Heath knows about it yet, and Nick had his worries, I'll admit, but he'll go along with whatever I decide. Will you?"

"Of course," Audra said, with no reservations. "When did Eugene say he'd do it?"

"As soon as possible. He'll do one side of my neck at a time. The good news is, that will keep him around a bit longer."

Audra smiled. "I hate the reason, but I am glad he's here. All right, Mother. Whatever you want, I want too. And I'm sure Heath will agree, and in the end, so will Nick."

"I know," Victoria said, "and I can't say I'm not nervous, but I'm not afraid. This will be a good thing, I know."

Audra kissed her mother. "I know it, too."


	6. Chapter 6

tChapter 6

When Eugene came home from his discussion with Dr. Shane, he reported that the doctor agreed that the procedure Eugene wanted to do was the most advisable, and if Victoria was willing, he and Eugene would do it the next day at the ranch. Her children were somewhat nervous about it, but Victoria was very calm, very sure that her son would take good care of her, and come the next morning, when Dr. Shane arrived, she was ready.

The next morning, Nick sent J.J. and Tony out to do their chores, as usual, but only after explaining to them what was happening upstairs with their grandmother. "Don't worry, everything is going to be all right," Nick reassured them. "Just get your work done."

"You're not doing yours," Tony said.

Nick heaved a sigh. His son was the most contrary of all the Barkley grandchildren, and the most vocal about it. "Right now, my job is here, and yours is out in the barn. Now get to it!"

The boys left, but as they went out the front door, Tony said to J.J., "Grandmother must really be sick. Uncle Eugene AND Dr. Shane are with her."

"Yeah," J.J. said, "And Uncle Heath and Aunt Audra are in there with your parents and my mother and they all look worried. Seems like they still don't realize that we know when something's going on."

"Yeah," Tony said.

"I'm not gonna worry about it, though," J.J. said. "We'll have to be worrying about these things soon enough. Remember when Uncle Heath told us how young he was when he went off to war?"

"Yeah," Tony said.

"Well, that's how old I am now," J.J. said. "Won't be long I'll be pretty much grown up, and you're right behind me. For now, I'm just gonna muck stalls and let them inside do the worrying."

Tony shrugged. J.J. had a point.

Inside, there was plenty of worrying going on. Nick paced a lot, and Heath stood up and paced now and then, but the women basically stayed still, sitting, drinking coffee. But then it was over so fast, Eugene was coming down the stairs so soon, that everyone jumped up, terrified.

But Eugene smiled. "She did fine. She's resting and she'll be good as new by tomorrow."

Nick couldn't believe it. "Really? That fast?"

Eugene nodded. "That fast. She'll probably wake up in the next few minutes, but then she'll sleep again until late afternoon. I'd give it until then before you go to see her."

"When will you do the other side of her neck?" Audra asked.

"A week or so. She needs to recover from this one and let some healing happen. But I'll stick around for the next one. Might even punch a cow or two while I'm here doing nothing else." He winked at his rancher brothers.

"Can't risk hurting those lily-white hands," Nick teased, but the choke in his voice gave away his worry about his mother.

Audra threw her arms around her younger brother.

"Reckon I'll go tell the boys she's fine," Heath said and headed for the door.

"They don't really know what's going on," Nick said.

Everyone else moaned.

"Nick, they know more about what goes on around here than you do," Maggie said.

Nick looked offended – for a moment. Then he admitted with a shrug that Maggie was probably right.

XXXXXX

Victoria woke up slowly, the fog of the drugs not willing to let her go too soon. She could hear voices but not what they were saying, until someone said, "Mother? Are you awake?"

"Sort of," she said, still not knowing which of her children was talking to her.

"You did fine, Mother," the voice said. "You'll be groggy for a little while, but everything is fine. The operation is over and you did fine."

Operation. Eugene. Victoria remembered they were going to cut into her neck, but it took a while before she remembered why. Then she put it together and smiled. "Is it all right if I go back to sleep?" she asked.

Eugene smiled. Victoria could hear it even if she hadn't opened her eyes to see it. "Go right ahead," he said. "I'll be nearby when you need me."

"I'm glad we sent you to medical school," Victoria said.

"Me, too," Eugene said.

XXXXXXXX

 _"Hello, Victoria," the voice said and she knew that voice and smiled. She felt him move around her, holding her while she slept, whispering to her. "I'm glad you did so well. Quite a young man, our son the doctor has turned out to be."_

 _"Yes, he's wonderful," Victoria said and snuggled into her husband's arms. "I wish you could have seen him grow up. He was so young when you left us. There were times he wasn't sure about the road he should take. I was afraid for a while that he would never find his way, and I wished you were here to help him."_

 _"He was in good hands. His older brothers looked after him. I knew they would. And he's turned out to be quite a young man."_

 _"I've missed you so much, Tom."_

 _"I know. But I've been here, and I'm here now."_

 _"I love you, you know."_

 _"Rest, Victoria. Rest here in my arms and get well."_

XXXXXXXX

Victoria woke up from her half-drugged sleep, wishing she didn't have to wake up. Her dream was so real, so wonderful to feel her husband's arms around her again, and she did feel them. Exactly as they always were, she felt them enclose her and keep her safe. She knew it was only a dream but that was all right. It was sweet and real, and when she finally woke up for good, she was smiling.

"That's what a surgeon likes to see," Eugene's voice came to her again. "A happy patient."

She opened her eyes, and he was there, her youngest who had just operated on her. "My doctor son," she said quietly. "Your father is very proud of you."

Eugene smiled, thinking his mother was still half asleep. "Thank you for telling me that, Mother. How do you feel?"

Victoria said, "Very good. I trust the operation went well."

"Couldn't have gone better," Eugene said. "You've stayed groggy longer than I'd have liked, but that's nothing. You're awake now for good, I think."

"May I have some water?"

"Ice chips for now," Eugene said and put some into her mouth.

Victoria let them melt and swallowed the water. "When can I eat? I'm hungry."

Eugene laughed. "That's a good sign, but we'll let you have some soft food in a few hours."

"Where are your brothers and sister?"

"Downstairs, anxious to see you. Are you up to seeing them?"

"For a few minutes, yes," Victoria said.

Eugene went away, and Victoria concentrated on feeling more awake. It wasn't long before the faces of the rest of her children appeared, smiling and encouraging.

"It's good to see you did so well, Mother."

"Eugene said he'll get you up and moving around in a little while."

"That's quite a doctor our boy has turned out to be."

"He could stand to lose a little weight, but otherwise he's something else, isn't he?"

"All right, all right, time for you all to scoot and let my patient get more awake," Eugene's voice broke the chorus.

"I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast," Victoria said and watched her children, except for Eugene, retreat from the room.

At about that time, Victoria felt completely awake and tried to sit up, but Eugene kept her down. "Not just yet," he said. "Let's wait until you're more fully awake, and I'll walk you around the room a bit."

"Then can I eat?"

Eugene laughed. "Yes, then you can eat."

"Good, because I'm hungry."

"Well, now I guess we know where Nick got his appetite."

Victoria patted Eugene's midsection. "You too, apparently."

Eugene laughed again and kissed her. "Yeah, you're doing just fine, Mother."

Victoria patted his cheek this time. "Thanks to my son, the doctor."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Feeling very, very tired, Eugene wandered downstairs. It was late, but he was still surprised to see no one in the living room. He wandered to the library instead, happy to see a light lit.

Nick was playing pool with J.J. and Tony. Eugene was a little surprised to see the boys still up, but even more surprised to see that Nick was losing the game. J.J. and Tony, teaming up, were sinking balls right and left. Eugene stood there watching for several shots before Nick looked up and saw him.

"Well, well," Nick said, and the boys looked up from the table. "Everything okay upstairs?"

"Mother ate a bit and went to sleep with a smile on her face," Eugene said.

"How about you? Have you eaten?"

Eugene spotted a platter of sandwiches and a pot of coffee on the coffee table. "I could eat a sandwich," Eugene said and headed for the platter.

J.J. finished off the last two shots, and Tony held his hand out to his father. "That's two dollars, Pa."

Nick reached into his pocket for his wallet and forked over a dollar a piece to Tony and J.J. "You two are through ganging up on me tonight. Time for you to head to bed."

The boys put their cues away in the rack on the wall. J.J. said, "Goodnight, Uncle Nick, Uncle Eugene. I'm glad Grandmother is doing so well."

"Me, too," Tony said. "Good night."

The boys went out the door. Eugene smiled, watching them go, while Nick scowled. "What's the matter?" Eugene asked. "Did they take you for too much?"

"Yes, they did," Nick said. "They're getting too good at this game."

"Kind of amazing how fast they grow up, isn't it?"

"Got that right. J.J.'s had a growth spurt and he's as tall as Audra. His voice changed, and I swear, now he looks and sounds just like Jarrod."

"I noticed," Eugene said. "Tony favors Nancy a bit more than you."

"Yeah, but he has my temperament, I'm afraid." The brothers sat down together on the sofa. Nick actually plopped more than sat. "You don't know how worried I've been about Mother."

"Yes, I do," Eugene said. "I have been, too."

"But you could do something about it. I've just had to wait. You know I was never very good at that."

"Should have gone to medical school. That would have taught you patience. No pun intended."

Nick sighed, with a smile. "It's good to have you home again, Gene. I'm sorry why, but I'm glad you're here."

"Yeah, I'm glad to be here, too. Tell me something, how is J.J. getting along without a father around?"

"Seems all right, but I doubt he'd say anything to me if he was really feeling rough about it. Seems he's come to know I miss his father even more than he does. He really didn't know Jarrod, just knows the stories. Me – several times a day I see something or do something and think about Jarrod, you know? Something as mundane as doing the books."

"And you wish Jarrod was here to do them, like he used to."

Nick chuckled. "I'm not usually lazy, but put those books in front of me and I just don't want to deal with them."

"I miss him too, Nick, and I think if I was looking at J.J. every day, I'd miss him more. J.J. does favor his father, and Jarrod was more of a father than a brother to me."

"Let me guess about something. You don't remember our father very well, do you?"

"Not like you remember him." Eugene thought about it some more. "No, I don't remember him very well at all. Just never spent enough time with him. I'm like J.J. that way."

"I'm sorry about that, kid. I really am."

Eugene winced. "Nick, I'm a practicing surgeon with a wife and two daughters. Are you ever going to stop calling me 'kid'?"

Nick laughed out loud. "No, probably not. How is your family? You missing them too much?"

"Oh, I miss the heck out of them. Those little girls – they can just wrap me right around their little fingers and they know it."

"I'm sorry you couldn't bring them."

"Well, you know how Mary Margaret hates to travel, and the girls have school, so it just wasn't practical."

"Just too bad your girls have to grow up so far away from their cousins."

"They have a boatload of cousins from Mary Margaret's side, so I don't think they feel like they're missing anything, but yeah – they're really Barkley deprived. I don't think they even understand how big an empire their father's family oversees."

"They will someday. When do you think you'll be able to do that second procedure on Mother?"

"Next week sometime. And I'll stay long enough to be sure she's healing properly. It'll be something like six weeks away from the family in Baltimore, but I haven't forgotten I'm a Barkley. I'll never forget that, Nick."

"I'll be sorry to see you leave, Gene. You back east, Jarrod gone, Heath not living in the house here – sometimes I feel like I'm the only brother left."

Eugene clapped Nick on the leg. "Heath's not that far away, and as you saw, neither am I in a pinch. And pretty soon we'll all have those telephone contraptions and you can call me up and talk to me in a minute or so."

"Amazing, isn't it? To think we might be able to talk across all those miles."

"And I'll be there, Nick. Remember – I'm eleven years younger than you are. I'll be cleaning out _your_ carotid arteries someday."

Nick gave a fake scowl. "Rub it in, kid."

Eugene chuckled and physically rubbed Nick's leg before he got up and headed out of the library. Nick laughed to watch him go, but he reflected on his own words. Jarrod gone, Eugene leaving before long to go across the whole country, and Heath living half an hour away – sometimes he did feel like the only Barkley brother left.

Then he remembered how much money he had lost playing pool with the next generation of Barkley men, just like he used to lose to Jarrod, Heath and Eugene. _Ah, well_ , he said inwardly. _Nothing much really changes after all_.

XXXXXXXX

Three weeks later, Victoria was well on the way to healing, having had both carotid arteries done, and she was feeling better than new. When it came time to send Eugene back home to Baltimore, she rode in the surrey with Nick who drove and Audra who went along for the ride. She hated to see her youngest go away again. She wished he lived here and not so far away, but he was building a reputation for himself in another world, and Victoria accepted that.

"But you must come back soon," Victoria said after she kissed him goodbye, "with Mary Margaret and the children."

"I will," Eugene said. "Come next spring, after the winter snows have cleared away in the mountains. I don't think my family would be up to taking the long way around to get here, and I'm not sure I'm up to enduring them."

He climbed aboard and the train left. Victoria let a tear fall. It had been so good to have him home that – "Having him here was worth having my neck cut open," she said out loud.

Heath and Audra both laughed a little.

As they went back to the surrey, Victoria found herself thinking about her son, the doctor, the youngest of her children, and then about the next generation. J.J. was old enough that they really needed to plan his education after Stockton, and Tony was right behind him, and Little Heath right after that. And Victoria Marie – Victoria thought about how things were changing for women. Gradually, it was becoming a world where they too could ask for and get a higher education. Did Victoria Marie want that? And Amanda? And Eugene's daughters?

Audra saw her mother thinking very hard. "What are you thinking about?" she asked.

"The grandchildren," Victoria said. "I remember sending Jarrod off to school, and then Eugene, and I realize we have to do more serious planning for J.J. and Tony and all the others, even the girls. Times are changing and education is becoming so important for all of them. If the children want to further their education – if J.J. really wants to be an engineer, and – my goodness I've never asked about what Victoria Marie might want."

"She's talked about becoming a teacher," Audra said, "but not just a regular teacher. She wants to learn how to teach children who can't hear or see."

Victoria smiled. "That's wonderful. What a fine dream to have."

Funny but now that Victoria was feeling better, her grandchildren's futures seemed to be even more important to her. She actually felt like she might be around to see at least a couple of them plan their futures and live them.

Audra could read her mind. "It's a brand new world, isn't it?"

Victoria felt like it was brand new not just for them, but for herself, too. "Yes, and isn't it wonderful?"

Audra thought, _and isn't wonderful that my mother is here to see it AND to understand it enough to enjoy it._

The End


End file.
